A run in with the most DOOOM of all insects.

HORNS · **Posted:** Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:40 pm

The Jerusalem Cricket.

I was moving potted plants around in the back and I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw this giant thing undulating and slowly dragging itself under a wood table.

So I grabbed my camera (and threw a coin next to him for size relation).

Then I got my neighbor over and he was just as freaked out as me.

Arzgarth · **Joined:** Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:41 pm **Posts:** 1679

GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Severed Ed · **Posted:** Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:04 am

Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!! Kill it!!!

boltthrow · **Joined:** Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:02 pm **Posts:** 497

I find those in the pool and gently help them to a grassy area.

Then stomp the shit out of them.

L. Ron · **Posted:** Thu Sep 13, 2012 9:33 am

boltthrow wrote:

I find those in the pool and gently help them to a grassy area.

Then lie down and let them crawl up my ass.

juggernaut · **Joined:** Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:34 pm **Posts:** 68

I'll do you one better. I was playing golf and right as we were about to tee off this bug comes flying around and lands on my bag. I was completely fascinated by it because I've never seen anything like it. It was strangely aware of me and kept moving away as I was trying to take a picture. Finally it wouldn't leave so I picked up really quick and just tossed it in the air to fly away.

After I get home I do some research and find out it's a wheel bug and it has a poisonous bite.

Here is how it eats:

"The wheel bug has characteristic dorsal armor, shaped like a wheel or cog. It moves and flies slowly, and in flight produces a noisy buzzing sound. It has one of the most developed set of mouth parts among true bugs. Its beak arises from the anterior end of its long, tubular head and unfolds forward. The bug plunges its beak into its victim, pinning its prey with its front legs. It then injects enzymes into the victim, paralyzing it and dissolving its insides, and proceeds to drain all of the victim's bodily fluids. The bite of a wheel bug is painful and may take months to heal (sometimes leaving a small scar), so caution is highly advised when handling them."

Jesus fucking christ that's awful. I got fucking lucky it didn't bite me when I picked it up. There is also a video on youtube where it just houses this big praying mantis. Fuck these things.

metalchick666 · **Posted:** Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:15 am

Ew and ew.

koi · **Posted:** Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:58 am

Got lots of wheel bugs in my neighborhood. I always find them hiding under the deck umbrella after its been closed for a while. Been bitten by one, too. Hurt like a bitch.

HORNS · **Posted:** Thu Sep 13, 2012 12:10 pm

There is a happy ending to my story. We picked it up and put it in the back behind the shed so it can burrow itself a new hole.

R8R · **Joined:** Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:34 am **Posts:** 107

First time I encountered a Jerusalem cricket I was about 15. My older brother had been laying around in his room getting completely baked. I think he may have been on pills too.

One of those things crawled up on his pillow. He turns his head and it's right there, a few inches from his face.

He ran through the house trembling and screaming at the top of his lungs that we were being invaded by foot long ants.

I was intrigued to say the least, (and we were all dying of laughter) so I went in to investigate, expecting maybe a 1/4" long soldier ant or something. Ok not a foot long ant but, HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT THING??

I eventually scooped it up and let it go outside. My brother didn't sleep that night.

juggernaut · **Joined:** Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:34 pm **Posts:** 68

Nice backyard horns.

Very subtle ;-)

Rusty Brookes · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2012 6:19 pm

I'm watching Starship Troopers tonight.

doom dom · **Joined:** Fri Jul 22, 2011 8:21 am **Posts:** 128

so thats what hell(or heaven?) is, trillions of bugs fucking and sucking each other for eternity without eating or harming each other.

doom dom · **Joined:** Fri Jul 22, 2011 8:21 am **Posts:** 128

******LOCK UP THE GUY WHO WANKS OFF TO THESE PICTURES.******

HORNS wrote:

new species of vermin

wasnt there a metal band called Vermin?

juggernaut wrote:

I was completely fascinated by it because I've never seen anything like it.

another new species of shit,errr of vermin.

******LOCK UP THE GUY WHO WANKS OFF TO THESE PICTURES.******

doom dom · **Joined:** Fri Jul 22, 2011 8:21 am **Posts:** 128

******LOCK UP THE GUY WHO WANKS OFF TO THESE PICTURES.******

Frater Pietro · **Posted:** Thu Sep 27, 2012 12:03 am

I remember my first encounter with a hard shell spider as a kid.

I found "Gasteracantha cancriformis" was not poisonous, but I was not in a hurry to touch it, nor her black metal cousin:

Once climate changes get (even) wilder, new insects will emerge. So much fun!

Danny G · **Posted:** Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:17 pm

I see your wheel bug and raise you the Tarantula Hawk:

the prole · **Posted:** Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:43 pm

FUCK ME.

This thread makes me glad I live in a place where it gets too fucking cold to allow anything like this to exist.

Worst I get are these bastards:

Ryno · **Posted:** Thu Sep 27, 2012 9:23 pm

Your Jerusalem cricket is scary indeed. I've come across several in my garage now. But until you reach out to a dark wall, looking for the light switch, and instead of a light switch you put your hand on a vinegaroon, you haven't touched the scariest insect of them all. Pretty much totally harmless, but the fuckin creepiest things ever...

HORNS · **Posted:** Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:53 am

HORNS · **Posted:** Fri Sep 28, 2012 2:10 am

Ryno, what the hell IS that thing?

The only story I have to match that is that a few years ago in the middle of the night a camel spider was in my bathroom.

I thought, "oh, there is another scorpion" and when it ran across the floor I nearly shit myself. Those things move so fast and so weird. You can never be prepared for it.

doomborn · **Joined:** Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:21 am **Posts:** 764

enjoy
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-16-l ... -the-world

juggernaut · **Joined:** Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:34 pm **Posts:** 68

Danny G wrote:

I see your wheel bug and raise you the Tarantula Hawk:

Holy crap. You win.

Ryno · **Posted:** Fri Sep 28, 2012 2:05 pm

HORNS wrote:

Ryno, what the hell IS that thing?

It's a whip tail scorpion, or vinegaroon. Sooooooo fuckin creepy.

Here ya go!

Danny G · **Posted:** Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:14 pm

I can live with Tarantula Hawks. Fuck centipedes!

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A run in with the most DOOOM of all insects.

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