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 Post subject: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:14 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:14 pm
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Location: East Bridgewater, MA
Should I go to a show tonight or should I stay home and get drunk in the yard. Bearing in mind tired, no money, hot as hell, etc., it's Hull's last show with Drew on guitar. I'm torn.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:17 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:24 am
Posts: 634
Location: Brooklyn
Get drunk in the yard, do you really want to drive to Brooklyn(I assume that's where the show is)?

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:19 pm 
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Location: East Bridgewater, MA
It's at the Acheron, yeah, and more than I don't want to drive there, I don't want to drive home. It does always feel like a bad tradeoff though when I spend like 90 minutes in the car and only have "I'm in Brooklyn now" to show for it.

It being Friday night only makes that worse.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:35 pm 
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Stay home. Don't let The Heavy become an obligation.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:39 pm 
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Arzgarth wrote:
Stay home. Don't let The Heavy become an obligation.


Thank you.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:00 pm
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Location: Maine
Arzgarth wrote:
Stay home. Don't let The Heavy become an obligation.


This one has my vote. We must be getting old...

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:41 pm 
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Location: East Bridgewater, MA
It's true though. I do feel like I'm on the hook for these things sometimes. I'm not. Going to shows shouldn't be a day-long source of anxiety, right? I can't help but feel like I'm doing it wrong.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 6:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2011 1:24 pm
Posts: 658
Location: Just up the road from the sea
After 20 years of going to shows on an almost weekly basis, (sometimes several a week), I have slid into that ditch that requires something or somebody pretty special to pull me out. I used to feel guilty when bands came through town and I didn't go see them. Especially the day after. I know the anxiety.

Nowadays, domestic duties have really curbed the desire to go out, get hammered and rock out. Now I just stay home, get hammered and rock out in my garage. I piss off the neighbors and piss off the wife, so some of the key components of the adventure are still intact. And although it's not the same, I save money, I don't have to drive, and I can hit the fridge at 2am before I pass out on the couch, with a kink in my neck, for a lovely nights rest. And best of all, over the last couple of years, I have developed a knack for not feeling guilty anymore.

I do get out a lot more than spacecakes though. That fucking guy should be called "hermitcakes" from now on.


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 7:18 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:19 pm
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Location: Massachusetts
I definitely understand the reluctance...especially if there's not any driving force like a couple of buddies pushing you to go. Hard to motivate.

There's a bunch of deathcore bands playing down the street tonight. It would take me five minutes to walk there, and the beers are cheap. My half brother will likely be there. I don't know if I can soldier through four deathcore bands though, is the thing. I bet my bottom dollar you gentlemen would tap out pretty quick too. Those crazy kids and that infernal racket!

I have even found that even the stuff I like gets fatiguing after about three acts...I suppose I'm getting older too. I'll be 31 in August, and though I occasionally get some spirit in me to get physical and headbang till 2am, I feel like most of the time I need a breather, even without a rough crowd. I think I just got used to pregaming and coming in late, or popping out of a show to grab a slice of pizza or whatever...I think the little breaks keep me from getting burnt out. Tough to do that at most venues though...I've been spoiled at the local dives where I can sort of come and go as I please.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:02 am 

Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:08 am
Posts: 1267
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Arzgarth wrote:
Stay home. Don't let The Heavy become an obligation.


"The Heavy" is never an obligation but a calling. Sometimes you just have to let it ring and pretend you're not at home.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:17 am 
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Location: East Bridgewater, MA
RalphSnart wrote:
I definitely understand the reluctance...especially if there's not any driving force like a couple of buddies pushing you to go. Hard to motivate.

There's a bunch of deathcore bands playing down the street tonight. It would take me five minutes to walk there, and the beers are cheap. My half brother will likely be there. I don't know if I can soldier through four deathcore bands though, is the thing. I bet my bottom dollar you gentlemen would tap out pretty quick too. Those crazy kids and that infernal racket!

I have even found that even the stuff I like gets fatiguing after about three acts...I suppose I'm getting older too. I'll be 31 in August, and though I occasionally get some spirit in me to get physical and headbang till 2am, I feel like most of the time I need a breather, even without a rough crowd. I think I just got used to pregaming and coming in late, or popping out of a show to grab a slice of pizza or whatever...I think the little breaks keep me from getting burnt out. Tough to do that at most venues though...I've been spoiled at the local dives where I can sort of come and go as I please.


That's the other thing though, most of these shows I'm going to by myself. My wife could care less, and she's ready for sleep at like 10PM, so while I have a relatively high probability of knowing someone at a show, I think that's different than actually going with someone and sharing the experience. Even when I drove out to Days of the Doomed like two weeks ago, I wasn't going to the show myself, and the chance to hang out with a good friend was a big part of the motivation that got me out there in the first place.

Also the record shopping, but still.

I'll be 31 in October, and I agree, I think your general response to the idea of what a show is changes. It's hard in New York now. Everything's in Brooklyn and the crowds there are pretty atrocious, generally. I live way out in NJ and could never walk five minutes and get to a show of any kind. If I walked five minutes, I'd just have to walk the five minutes back and get in my car and drive an hour. I guess I've hit the point where it takes more than it used to for me to want to get out and see a band.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 2:36 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:00 pm
Posts: 316
Location: Maine
I am right there with you guys. I live in Maine and there are not a lot of bands coming through on their way to someplace else. They have to want to come up, it is not on the way to anywhere, but nowhere…and eastern Canada. ;-) I used to drive down to Massachusetts all the time to see bands. 2+ hours down and 2+ hours back, same night.
At 40+, I just do not have the stamina after a full day’s work. Like Ryno said, “domestic duties have really curbed the desire to go out, get hammered and rock out.” I have been going to see bands live since I was 13, almost 30 years, what am I going to see that I haven’t seen before that will out-weigh the aggravations of being out (texting while at shows, WTF?). It will have to be a once in a lifetime (or may never come this way again) type deal to get me to leave the state for a show now and then there is no guarantee. If they come to Maine and I am into the band, I will probably go, since it is such a rare occurrence. On the other hand, in the case of Ogre, even though it is a Monday night (c’mon guys) I will haul my ass to Portland. I will go to Portland (45 minutes south, Maine’s biggest city), but I am not driving to Bangor (two hours in the direction of nowhere).

Some of it is getting older and having priorities shift. The guilt, I get it. That is the part of us, which just does not want to go up. There is nothing we can do about growing older (and all that comes with it, reduced tolerance/stamina), but we can fight growing up…to a degree,…it is acceptable and good for the soul. So, once and a whole you will find my old(er) ass at a show.

Then there is the whole going by myself. I too attend most shows alone. I cannot the other guys out of the house, especially during the week or without the wives (last time I did, the wives went too). I WISH there was someone to go with, but at this stage in my life I have very few friends who share the same musical tastes I do.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 2:44 pm 
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You put in the time and eventually you'll get to a point where you'll know someone at a show, but yeah, seconded/thirded/fourthed on the going to shows solo. It's kind of a bummer at times.

On the flip side, going alone means I can slink out during the last act, as I'm 99% guaranteed to do, and not feel like I'm cutting my co-pilot's good time short (Hi Darryl!).

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:05 pm 

Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:18 am
Posts: 2285
Count me among the solo show attendees...I've really cut back on my concert going since my daughter was born, and the shows I do go to are typically for bands that rarely come through town (Tombs, Yob, Pallbearer, Sleep) and a few staples (Clutch, Down, Melvins)...I've got one acquaintance who I used to go to shows with but he would talk through most of the shows about his boring life and became insufferable...I, too, prefer the option of being able to slip out of a show w/o worrying about a co-pilot.

Sounds like we all need to create a support group...ha!


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:22 pm 
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Location: Boston, MA
Oh, so I'm a burden??? YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! I WANT MY THINGS BACK!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:12 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:19 pm
Posts: 1565
Location: Massachusetts
Dinger was my guy around here both for booking shows and somewhat motivating me to go out. But I will make the move on my own these days if it's something I feel strongly about. There was no way I was missing Kyuss Lives, Mastodon, Trail Of Dead, etc. Those were shows I knew I'd regret not going to. But the accessibility of the venues is a major point of course.

Lately it's more the bands themselves being not particularly my faves...I'm not as inspired. Still spoiled I guess, but not like I was, with Mogwai, Black Cobra, Cave In, My Morning Jacket, Unearthly Trance, Rosetta and dozens of others playing at venues walking distance from my apartment. Not as much good stuff these days, both due to Dinger being out of the game and the general demise of hard rock as an attraction. Lots of cover bands and college white boy reggae. That's the shit that sells. And what heavy there is? Like I said: Deathcore.

I agree it can be better seeing a show on your own...no rope around your waist. I too had a buddy who just complained and grumbled...though mostly about the bands... at every show, so there was no need to call that kid after a while. I wised up!

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 11:18 am 

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:26 pm
Posts: 8
Mike H wrote:
. On the other hand, in the case of Ogre, even though it is a Monday night (c’mon guys) I will haul my ass to Portland. I will go to Portland (45 minutes south, Maine’s biggest city), but I am not driving to Bangor (two hours in the direction of nowhere).



The OGRE show is Sept. 1st. Saturday night!


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:37 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:00 pm
Posts: 316
Location: Maine
Willy B. wrote:
Mike H wrote:
. On the other hand, in the case of Ogre, even though it is a Monday night (c’mon guys) I will haul my ass to Portland. I will go to Portland (45 minutes south, Maine’s biggest city), but I am not driving to Bangor (two hours in the direction of nowhere).



The OGRE show is Sept. 1st. Saturday night!


SHIT!!! I had been drinking when I looked at the calendar. I must have looked at October by accident. A Saturday...whoa...this just takes things to another level. I'm gonna have to find a DD... ;-) Thanks Will!!

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:00 pm 

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2010 9:29 pm
Posts: 1763
Being able to bail out exactly when you want is a great joy, thus I always go alone...


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:19 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:06 pm
Posts: 576
Location: New Jersey/NYC
I almost always go to shows alone and I hate it. My best show buddy, MaidenNY, passed away last year. It helps knowing that someone you'll know will be there though. I've missed shows that I really wanted to see because I just didn't want to go alone.

And same thing with it being a pain to get to shows. It's not just the time but it's expensive around here too. Just driving into NYC is $12 toll thru the tunnel and it's $25 in tolls round trip if I take the Verrazano Bridge from Brooklyn.


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:56 pm 

Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 12:27 am
Posts: 801
Location: Brooklyn, NY
I'm falling into this camp now (at 42, turning 43 this year). The job I've had for the last 2 years is not the kind I can show up hungover (or, dazed, at the case often was). I was tossed about the same HULL show, and knowing I had to work Sat morning (get up 7ish)... I skipped on it. I wouldn't have enjoyed the show.
On a related note, there seem to be a helluva lot less shows I wanna see lately. Gone are the days of Tee Pee/Small Stone bands playing 3 or 4 in a night. Or, going to 2 (sometimes 3!) venues in the same night to see all the bands I didn't want to miss. Yeah, I'm sure I'm missing out on some cool bands I've never heard of. But the opportunities seem to occur much less often and more frequently further between.
I still go out, but I'm more choosey now.

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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 5:47 pm 

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2010 9:29 pm
Posts: 1763
Our town is quite small so I'll always know folks at shows, it's pretty much the same thirty or so diehards, although often only a third of 'em show up. Door cost has gone up but not out of proportion with the rest of the country (what were once five dollar doors are now 8 or 10)...we do get less national bands but I suspect tours in general have declined


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 11:45 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:41 pm
Posts: 38
Location: North Carolina
I've tried Meetup.com to meet people at shows. So far I had limited sucess.

I know what you guys are going through. I'm in my early 40s and it has to be a really special band for me to make an effort to go see them. It also helps if its on a Friday or Saturday night.


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 5:15 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:58 am
Posts: 857
I'm almost at the point (married with 2 kids under 2 years old)...that it needs to be "this maybe the last chance or so I get to see this band live" opportunity...AND that needs to be on a friday or saturday night. So currently, that narrows it down to about 2-3 times/year..maybe.

Sad


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 Post subject: Re: The age old question...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:09 pm 

Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:08 am
Posts: 1267
Location: Brooklyn, NY
h.p. taskmaster wrote:
I'll be 31 in October


Sheeeit, I got Raven tapes older than that. You kids are making me feel ancient.

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